Growth, Idealism, Life

Pain

A lot of things have happened to me as of late that have caused me discomfort. I personally felt a LOT of pain, but I understand that pain is relative and I refuse to try to quantify it as a lot or a little.

Problems...

Problems…

This is one of the things that have caused me pain as of late. I can’t say a LOT of pain because let’s face it., there are people all over the world who would KILL to have a car to wreck in the first place! My life is not bad. I have nothing to complain about. However, I have always said that emotions are valid.

One look at the twitter @celebscomplain_ and we’re all laughing at how petty and simple the problems of the other half are.

The Miracle of Flight, Apple Products, and Rumors?!? ... Tell me again how hard your life must be...

The Miracle of Flight, Apple Products, and Rumors?!? … Tell me again how hard your life must be…

But, at that moment, their life was hard. Pain is pain. Humans are extremely adaptable. Whether you’re adapting to abject poverty or garish excess, your entire world is filtered through that. Your actions are indicative of it and your life is unfathomable to those who are your other.

The two sides are at odds all of the time.

“Um.. why are you so dirty?” – Because they work in a field for 12 hours a day and the nearest water is an hour away.

“You have NOTHING to whine about!” – Well, they’re actually STILL human and humans feel pain regardless of their socio-economic status (Though I will admit that a step out of a certain limited worldview might be in order)

Now that I feel properly pre-vindicated allow me to go on…

A lot of things piled up on me at once. The accident, a few career issues, plumbing issues, housing issues in general, and the whammy is something personal, but I will say it has to do with losing something you thought you’d always have.

You wouldn't call this little guy pathetic, would you?

You wouldn’t call this little guy pathetic, would you? – THEN DON’T DO IT TO ME! ūüėČ

Anyway, when things stop going your way you begin to feel like a failure. You feel as if you have the opposite of the Midas touch.

Midas: What you touch turns to gold - Negative Midas: What you touch turns to crap - B. Holly - What you touch turns to golden crap...

Midas: What you touch turns to gold – Negative Midas: What you touch turns to crap – B. Holly – What you touch turns to golden crap…

Failure is not an easy feeling. You feel worthless. It makes you feel as if you deserve nothing and that you are just a cancer to everyone else that you’re around. Failure is hard. But, as I said in the previous blog. Failure is necessary. Success is impossible without it. Failure makes you stronger. I wonder if we’ve forgotten that.

And failure… well, it hurts.

It’s hard because people will come after you either way.

Our society is so obsessed with non-failure, that taking risks has become taboo! What?!? Move to New York City or Los Angeles to try and make it?!? Are you out of your mind? Most people fail and come back home. This may be true, but at the same time, if you don’t try you’ll never grow. Why take an AP Algebra class when you can just take the general class and pass? Why should we even bother pushing ourselves?

At the same time, we often look at people who try to better themselves as being full of themselves or we belittle their attempts. Which, by the way, if you find yourself scoffing at someone’s diet/exercise attempts or saying things like, “Ugh, why do you always eat Salad? always Study? always Exercise? always Pray etc…” Just… stop. Why would an attempt to self-improve ever be a bad thing? I’ve done it… you’ve done it… and we all need to cut it out. Don’t try to be better than others. Just be better than you. And CERTAINLY don’t allow your road to success to be making everyone suck a little more than you.

Anyway, taking risks and failing and growing- That’s where our greatness lies! A fellow PCV and a very good friend was interviewed recently and I believe he said it best during an interview with SoCal’s Public Radio station 89.3 KPCC.

“The beauty about games is that they encourage failure. They are predicated on kids trying things and failing and trying something else and trying it again,” he said. “That’s a skill that we need to impart on our kids. This fearlessness in just doing stuff.” – Dan Thalkar

d&b

The only decent picture of us. He’s the bearded not black guy!

I think we can all take a lot from that. We need to impart the spirit of failing and trying again to our kids, yes. But, we also must lead by example. As I mentioned in the blog before this one., failure is necessary for success. However, I left out an important thing we all need to accept. Failure hurts.

Pain equals growth and I refuse to believe my trials and tribulations are anything but small road bumps on my road to self-actualization.

Dan’s Minecraft Blog!

Much Love,

– Brandon Holly –

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Life, Writing

Success Is…

A lot of friends and I have our eyes unswervingly fixated on “success”. We forego hanging out with friends, watching tv, using the internet, and just having a life in general to chase after our passions and goals in life. It’s noble and good and we should ALWAYS be working our butts off because nobody should walk around life thinking anything is granted to them. You have to work for what you get.

With that said, I do have socialist leanings and I believe we should help one another.

Caring about people doesn't make one a communist. Sheesh! What's that comrade? Do I want another vodka tonic? DA!

Caring about people doesn’t make one a communist. Sheesh!
What’s that comrade? Do I want another vodka tonic? DA!

Anyway, I know many people spend a lot of time reading about how to become successful and how to become better people in general. I do! I have many self-actualization books both in my cue and mental library. I’ve learned a lot! But, the question I always ask myself after reading the wisdom of those smarter or at least more tenacious than I is, “What did they read?” Also, I feel as if it’s always important to understand that things change! The formula for their success won’t necessarily be the formula for mine. For instance, your uncle and cousins could be fairly(and wildly) famous directors, actors and film producers. That’s not to say you still didn’t work hard for where you are.

Jason Schwartzman just got added to your list of things to do today...

Jason Schwartzman just got added to your list of things to do today… (Yes I know the quote is out of context)

Anyway, your formula for and path to success is going to be necessarily different from the guy who was raised by a couple of modest Jehovah’s Witnesses in a small town in Georgia. Your mother worked at a daycare and your father was a postal worker. You also had a plethora of foster children in your home. Oh, and you are now an actor, writer, comedian, musician and one of my greatest inspirations.

Black Nerds Unite!

Black Nerds Unite!

This focus on success came after I started reading this book:

I've been watching a lot of Parks and Rec, so I definitely noticed Amy Poehler in the background before anything else... No offense, Ian Roberts I like you too!  If you're interested: http://ucbstore.com/the-upright-citizens-brigade-comedy-improvisation-manual

I’ve been watching a lot of Parks and Rec, so I definitely noticed Amy Poehler in the background before anything else… No offense, Ian Roberts I like you too!
If you’re interested: http://ucbstore.com/the-upright-citizens-brigade-comedy-improvisation-manual

I was lying on my bed reading a book teaching me how to be better instead of just being better. I stared at my four wood-paneled walls and felt.. inadequate. What was I doing wrong? The answer was and will always be nothing. Never feel like you’re doing something WRONG. (Unless you are, but if you are you know it and you don’t have to ask yourself if it’s wrong. That’s the kind of thing you FEEL and you ask yourself WHY.)

You’re just living. There’s nothing wrong with surviving. Our ancient ancestors would be mad jealous of our ability to just keep on living. Be proud of life.

Naturally, I haven’t “made it” yet. So, what am I personally doing?

I’m just trying. I know for a fact that I could be doing more. I could be putting myself out there more, spending more time writing and reading, exercising more and whatnot. But, I know I am trying and trying leads to failure, but failure leads to success.

And on success:

Dictionary.com defines success as: The¬†favorable¬†or¬†prosperous¬†termination¬†of¬†attempts¬†or¬†endeavors;¬†the¬†accomplishment¬†of¬†one’s goals.

That sounds terrifying to me. The termination of attempts or endeavors?!? Yikes! I never want to reach some point in my life where I feel done. For my gamer nerds, I want to constantly Level-Up! Success seekers, it’s cliche, but remember the journey is the fun part. Enjoy being on it and don’t forget that you’re lucky to be where you are. Never. Be. Done.

And now for some quotes from the people I mentioned:

  1. I just find that the harder you work and the more effort you put into yourself, the better you’ll be. – Jason Schwartzman
  2. The secret, I don’t know… I guess you’ve just gotta find something you love to do and then… do it for the rest of your life. ¬†– Max Fischer
  3. Writing is a very strenuous thing – it’s like banging your head against a wall. – Donald Glover
  4. I really like playing Leslie (Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation), because it’s like the Sisyphean task of trying to get a park built is very emblematic of what’s happening anywhere someone’s just trying to make change happen while everybody tells them it’s not going to happen. РAmy Poehler

I’m so excited to fight for what I love! You should too! And never EVER be afraid of failing. Instead of being afraid of failure, think of it this way… (MAYBE, it’s not true for a select few but for the most part it’s true) you HAVE to fail to succeed. You have no other choice. If you want to become better, you have to fail. There is no other way!

 

NOW GET OUT THEIR AND FAIL AND FLOP AND CRY YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS!!!

Another uplifting message from Brandon Holly,

me

 

Much Love,

– Brandon Holly –

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