You Are Super!

You have super powers and I can prove it!

Um… well… there that is.

Life has gotten unimaginably hectic lately. I work full-time (and a lot of overtime), I film, I write, I exercise, I’m going to grad school, I have friends, I have family, I have a girlfriend, I’m helping to edit an awesome anthology, I’m participating in nanowrimo, I’m inexplicably going to a Rihanna concert tomorrow that I do NOT have time for but I was inspired by this post and though I feel like I’m wearing myself very thin- I’m loving my life.

Rihanna is also shocked by my hectic schedule.

Part of the reason I can love my life is that I’m starting… keyword STARTING to use my super powers!

Finally found a way to get enough experience points, yo!

I think we’re all born with some kind of super power. It’s just up to us to figure out what that power is and to use it to its full potential. Unfortunately, our super powers seem boring, so we don’t tend to see them immediately. We have to have others see them and on top of that, we have to acknowledge that this thing is something peculiar about ourselves.

My peculiarities are: being able to wake up early (even though I’m actually more of a night owl when given the opportunity), having an especially high amount of energy and endurance (traits you probably share if anyone has ever called you a spaz) and an intense desire to see improvement in the world (I’m driven).

These traits are meaningless if I don’t use them, however. I wasn’t for the longest time. I got to work early and got off work earlier than most to just spend my time napping or watching cartoons. Adventure Time and Regular Show are some shameful SHAMEFUL addictions of mine. Yes, yes I am in fact an adult… you can shove it.

Ohhhh!!!!

Anyway, I have only started to recently use my superpowers; but, the results have been tremendous. I’ve found myself getting much more done and still having time to do the things I love; like writing in this blog! I’ve used my ability to get up early to take care of e-mails and clutter at work. I’ve used my time more wisely when getting home which has given me the ability to exercise more, which makes me feel 100 percent better about myself and my general state of being. On the flip side of that, I’ve used my innate energy to focus more on my writing right before bed instead of just mindlessly scrolling through web pages when my body is tired but my mind is not.

Seriously… if she had some extra fingers she could add Reddit and StumbleUpon and have good documentation of my productivity killers.

So seriously, give it some thought. What are some things that your friends or colleagues have complimented you on or even been annoyed by? (Remember having a lot of energy makes me a spaz, but I can still use my spaz-powers for good!) Use those things to your advantage! They’re things your naturally good at. Instead of wasting them on mindless pursuits, use them to further your career or to pursue your passions! I did and though I still struggle- it has truly made a big difference in my life; and hopefully, by extension, the lives of others.

I hope this post helps you in some way and as always…

Much Love,

-Brandon Holly-

Pain

A lot of things have happened to me as of late that have caused me discomfort. I personally felt a LOT of pain, but I understand that pain is relative and I refuse to try to quantify it as a lot or a little.

Problems…

This is one of the things that have caused me pain as of late. I can’t say a LOT of pain because let’s face it., there are people all over the world who would KILL to have a car to wreck in the first place! My life is not bad. I have nothing to complain about. However, I have always said that emotions are valid.

One look at the twitter @celebscomplain_ and we’re all laughing at how petty and simple the problems of the other half are.

The Miracle of Flight, Apple Products, and Rumors?!? … Tell me again how hard your life must be…

But, at that moment, their life was hard. Pain is pain. Humans are extremely adaptable. Whether you’re adapting to abject poverty or garish excess, your entire world is filtered through that. Your actions are indicative of it and your life is unfathomable to those who are your other.

The two sides are at odds all of the time.

“Um.. why are you so dirty?” – Because they work in a field for 12 hours a day and the nearest water is an hour away.

“You have NOTHING to whine about!” – Well, they’re actually STILL human and humans feel pain regardless of their socio-economic status (Though I will admit that a step out of a certain limited worldview might be in order)

Now that I feel properly pre-vindicated allow me to go on…

A lot of things piled up on me at once. The accident, a few career issues, plumbing issues, housing issues in general, and the whammy is something personal, but I will say it has to do with losing something you thought you’d always have.

You wouldn’t call this little guy pathetic, would you? – THEN DON’T DO IT TO ME! 😉

Anyway, when things stop going your way you begin to feel like a failure. You feel as if you have the opposite of the Midas touch.

Midas: What you touch turns to gold – Negative Midas: What you touch turns to crap – B. Holly – What you touch turns to golden crap…

Failure is not an easy feeling. You feel worthless. It makes you feel as if you deserve nothing and that you are just a cancer to everyone else that you’re around. Failure is hard. But, as I said in the previous blog. Failure is necessary. Success is impossible without it. Failure makes you stronger. I wonder if we’ve forgotten that.

And failure… well, it hurts.

It’s hard because people will come after you either way.

Our society is so obsessed with non-failure, that taking risks has become taboo! What?!? Move to New York City or Los Angeles to try and make it?!? Are you out of your mind? Most people fail and come back home. This may be true, but at the same time, if you don’t try you’ll never grow. Why take an AP Algebra class when you can just take the general class and pass? Why should we even bother pushing ourselves?

At the same time, we often look at people who try to better themselves as being full of themselves or we belittle their attempts. Which, by the way, if you find yourself scoffing at someone’s diet/exercise attempts or saying things like, “Ugh, why do you always eat Salad? always Study? always Exercise? always Pray etc…” Just… stop. Why would an attempt to self-improve ever be a bad thing? I’ve done it… you’ve done it… and we all need to cut it out. Don’t try to be better than others. Just be better than you. And CERTAINLY don’t allow your road to success to be making everyone suck a little more than you.

Anyway, taking risks and failing and growing- That’s where our greatness lies! A fellow PCV and a very good friend was interviewed recently and I believe he said it best during an interview with SoCal’s Public Radio station 89.3 KPCC.

“The beauty about games is that they encourage failure. They are predicated on kids trying things and failing and trying something else and trying it again,” he said. “That’s a skill that we need to impart on our kids. This fearlessness in just doing stuff.” – Dan Thalkar

The only decent picture of us. He’s the bearded not black guy!

I think we can all take a lot from that. We need to impart the spirit of failing and trying again to our kids, yes. But, we also must lead by example. As I mentioned in the blog before this one., failure is necessary for success. However, I left out an important thing we all need to accept. Failure hurts.

Pain equals growth and I refuse to believe my trials and tribulations are anything but small road bumps on my road to self-actualization.

Dan’s Minecraft Blog!

Much Love,

– Brandon Holly –

Success Is…

A lot of friends and I have our eyes unswervingly fixated on “success”. We forego hanging out with friends, watching tv, using the internet, and just having a life in general to chase after our passions and goals in life. It’s noble and good and we should ALWAYS be working our butts off because nobody should walk around life thinking anything is granted to them. You have to work for what you get.

With that said, I do have socialist leanings and I believe we should help one another.

Caring about people doesn’t make one a communist. Sheesh!
What’s that comrade? Do I want another vodka tonic? DA!

Anyway, I know many people spend a lot of time reading about how to become successful and how to become better people in general. I do! I have many self-actualization books both in my cue and mental library. I’ve learned a lot! But, the question I always ask myself after reading the wisdom of those smarter or at least more tenacious than I is, “What did they read?” Also, I feel as if it’s always important to understand that things change! The formula for their success won’t necessarily be the formula for mine. For instance, your uncle and cousins could be fairly(and wildly) famous directors, actors and film producers. That’s not to say you still didn’t work hard for where you are.

Jason Schwartzman just got added to your list of things to do today… (Yes I know the quote is out of context)

Anyway, your formula for and path to success is going to be necessarily different from the guy who was raised by a couple of modest Jehovah’s Witnesses in a small town in Georgia. Your mother worked at a daycare and your father was a postal worker. You also had a plethora of foster children in your home. Oh, and you are now an actor, writer, comedian, musician and one of my greatest inspirations.

Black Nerds Unite!

This focus on success came after I started reading this book:

I’ve been watching a lot of Parks and Rec, so I definitely noticed Amy Poehler in the background before anything else… No offense, Ian Roberts I like you too!
If you’re interested: http://ucbstore.com/the-upright-citizens-brigade-comedy-improvisation-manual

I was lying on my bed reading a book teaching me how to be better instead of just being better. I stared at my four wood-paneled walls and felt.. inadequate. What was I doing wrong? The answer was and will always be nothing. Never feel like you’re doing something WRONG. (Unless you are, but if you are you know it and you don’t have to ask yourself if it’s wrong. That’s the kind of thing you FEEL and you ask yourself WHY.)

You’re just living. There’s nothing wrong with surviving. Our ancient ancestors would be mad jealous of our ability to just keep on living. Be proud of life.

Naturally, I haven’t “made it” yet. So, what am I personally doing?

I’m just trying. I know for a fact that I could be doing more. I could be putting myself out there more, spending more time writing and reading, exercising more and whatnot. But, I know I am trying and trying leads to failure, but failure leads to success.

And on success:

Dictionary.com defines success as: The favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one’s goals.

That sounds terrifying to me. The termination of attempts or endeavors?!? Yikes! I never want to reach some point in my life where I feel done. For my gamer nerds, I want to constantly Level-Up! Success seekers, it’s cliche, but remember the journey is the fun part. Enjoy being on it and don’t forget that you’re lucky to be where you are. Never. Be. Done.

And now for some quotes from the people I mentioned:

1. I just find that the harder you work and the more effort you put into yourself, the better you’ll be. – Jason Schwartzman
2. The secret, I don’t know… I guess you’ve just gotta find something you love to do and then… do it for the rest of your life.  – Max Fischer
3. Writing is a very strenuous thing – it’s like banging your head against a wall. – Donald Glover
4. I really like playing Leslie (Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation), because it’s like the Sisyphean task of trying to get a park built is very emblematic of what’s happening anywhere someone’s just trying to make change happen while everybody tells them it’s not going to happen. – Amy Poehler

I’m so excited to fight for what I love! You should too! And never EVER be afraid of failing. Instead of being afraid of failure, think of it this way… (MAYBE, it’s not true for a select few but for the most part it’s true) you HAVE to fail to succeed. You have no other choice. If you want to become better, you have to fail. There is no other way!

 

NOW GET OUT THEIR AND FAIL AND FLOP AND CRY YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS!!!

Another uplifting message from Brandon Holly,

 

Much Love,

– Brandon Holly –

Run Away…

Sometimes, it seems like our issues come from nowhere. They’re these gigantic tremors that lay in wait underneath the ground. And, at any given moment they will erupt forth and attempt to drag us down into the pits of despair. We didn’t know this was a big deal to us until something triggered our emotional response. For instance, you’ve told your Significant Other that you don’t care about material things or silly greeting card holidays. You truly believe that until.. “Hm… apparently I do care about V. Day. WHY DIDN’T YOU GET ME A CARD AT LEAST?!?”

YOU COULDN’T SHELL OUT THE CHANGE FOR ONE ROSE?Tremors was one of the first movies to kinda freak me out! 

Sometimes, our issues are right out in the open like a big gross pimple. Whether those be mental issues, social biases, pet peeves. They’re the blighted parts of ourselves  that we can’t seem to hide very effectively.

I’m a closet racist! A raaaacyyyyyst! 😉

We have these problems and they manifest themselves any random way they will. Whether it be at bed late at night keeping you from getting any decent sleep or during grandma’s 80th birthday dinner. These things require attention and must be dealt with with tact and understanding. How do we reconcile the beautiful parts of ourselves with the ugly parts?

Um… Maybe some people just don’t. 

How can Brandon the pacifist reconcile himself with Brandon the revenge seeker? And yes, I do say reconcile because I don’t believe Brandon the revenge seeker is evil. I think the way in which he goes about things is wrong, but that is also the part of me that fights for what I believe in. The pacifist Brandon is a little too chill. I need both parts to function as a fully formed human. However, I will not be the most effective person I can be unless both sides are functioning PROPERLY. In other words, the passive pacifist needs to shake hands with the motivated menace to come up with a mutually beneficial way of solving problems.

Life is just a great balancing act.  I’m really trying to find mine. I fail a lot. But, I feel like I win a lot too! 🙂

Keep trying to find yours!

Even when some of us seem to have it all figured out…

Much Love,

-Brandon Holly-

How May I Help You?

I enjoy making people happy. There is literally no better feeling in the world than doing something for someone and looking at them sincerely expressing gratitude. I don’t feel like I’m unique. I feel as if most people in the world have good intentions. We don’t typically do things for the sole purpose of upsetting others. I don’t even think that comes from an especially thoughtful place; (even though I DO feel like people are more thoughtful than we give them credit for) rather, it comes from the fact that people tend to use their energy making themselves feel good, rather than actively trying to make you feel bad. But, really think about that the next time someone does something that grinds your gears. Especially if the person is a loved one.

Harold! This is the last time I say something, “THE BEANS GO IN THE LEFT CABINET AND THE SPICES GO IN THE RIGHT!”

Before you go punch the lights out of the person who did something that you personally found inconvenient; realize, that it’s highly unlikely they did that just to spite you. We get upset about things because we feel personally wronged. But nine times out of ten, that is not the intention of the other person. And, in fact, if the person knew they could’ve avoided a (in the context of the universe) meaningless argument, they probably just would have done whatever you wanted. Yes, some people are less mindful than others. But, I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt.

This makes me think of something C. S. Lewis wrote in Mere Christianity that I think rings true whether you’re a Christian or not.

“But in reality we have no experience of anyone liking badness just because it is bad. The nearest we can get to it is in cruelty. But in real life people are cruel for one of two reasons – either because they are sadists, that is, because they have a sexual perversion which makes cruelty a cause of sensual pleasure to them, or else for the sake of something they are going to get out of it – money, or power, or safety. But pleasure, money, power and safety are all, as far as they go, good things. The badness consists in pursuing them by the wrong method, or in the wrong way, or too much. I do not mean, of course, that the people who do this are not desperately wicked. I do mean that wickedness, when you examine it, turns out to be the pursuit of some good in the wrong way. You can be good for the mere sake of goodness : you cannot be bad for the mere sake of badness.”

Ya Dig?

I’m writing this because I felt wronged the other day and truly upset. I fail more often than not, but when I’m upset with someone I try to ask myself why I feel so frustrated. Typically, it’s because they did something that made life SLIGHTLY more difficult. My day was a little less convenient because of whatever thing they did. Now I’m upset. But my annoyance is MY problem not theirs. I’m trying very hard to always keep in mind that nobody can make me feel any certain way. I’m also trying to keep in mind that the things that annoy me on a day to day basis are typically not a big deal.

Let’s say someone leaves a piece of paper on my desk at work. I could see an improper response building up. These types of things happen all of the time. We’ve all heard things like, “What? Do you think this is YOUR desk?” or “Oh? So, you’re the only one who needs to use the toaster?” or “Why didn’t you invite me out to lunch or AT LEAST ask me what I wanted?” or “How many times do I have to tell you?” etc. But typically the answers are, “No, I’m sorry I just forgot…” “No, but it’s just taking me a minute. I’m sorry…” “Sorry, I was just hungry and left…” “I don’t know, just please help remind me…” People aren’t out to get you. Yes, some of the things people do happen because they forget that the universe doesn’t revolve around them. At the same time, sometimes we get upset because we feel like WE’RE the center of the universe.

Most of the time… Sorry should cut it.

Anyway, back to making people happy. I HATE when I do the things that upset people. I am guilty of staying too long in the bathroom, or spilling water on someone’s desk, or leaving my computer cord lying around. But, my desire is just to make people happy.

At the same time, maybe my need to make others happy makes them unhappy. If you’re like me, you try desperately to make everyone feel good, but you can’t. You fail them in some way shape or form and somehow you’ve made everyone upset rather than joyful.Which, in turn, makes you unhappy. And, I guess I’m just not sure what that balance is yet.

How do I go about it? I can’t clone myself (yet), so sometimes I am going to have to sleep or drop obligations, but deciding who has to wait is hard. One of my goals in life is to reduce the amount of suffering people have to feel. I wish to reduce my own suffering of course, but I also want to make YOU joyful as well. When I try too hard to make everyone happy, I end up hurting everyone. I haven’t figured out how to be ok with just not pleasing people sometimes.

Hm… I haven’t quite figured all of this out yet. But, I hope you’re happy today. And if not, maybe this puppy can make you smile.

No Pasa Nada…

Much Love,

– Brandon Holly –

All Shapes All Sizes…

I try very hard not to do this, but it seems nearly impossible. I do this on a daily basis. If you’re reading this and we have had a face-to-face conversation, I have most definitely done this to you.

I compare myself to people constantly. Am I making as much money as them? Am I as happy as them? Am I as adventurous, intelligent, healthy, attractive, strong, cool, patient, humorous, thoughtful, creative, kind, etc… as them?

The answer is always no.

Ho Hum…

Seriously, anytime I attempt to make myself  feel good by comparing myself to others, something like this happens…

Hmm… I notice that I am more physically fit than that person…

Dang… but they are loads smarter than I am. They pick up complex concepts at a MUCH faster rate than me… I suck…

So, I’m constantly living in this world in which I am “winning” or “losing” some fake game that I’ve created in my mind. I’ve just recently come to terms with the fact I do that. No, this blog isn’t about how we shouldn’t size each other up. I believe we’re made to analyze and make adjustments accordingly. It makes sense. When we (humans) were out in the world without shelter or safe places to hide, we needed to be able to assess legitimate obstacles. This animal is bigger than me, but I’m smarter, but it’s faster. Ok, I’ll sneak up on it or hide.

Threat Level: Human…

But, as far as sizing up other people go… I’m learning that every single person has a skill you don’t have. And, every single person lacks a skill you have. I find that beautiful. What that reveals to me is that we truly need each other. Human beings are highly mutually dependent. I’m not sure what that says about altruism, but it doesn’t matter. We don’t just help people because we want to. We help each other because we NEED to.

Anyway, I was writing this because I felt down on myself about what I’ve done so far in my life. And the thought that talked me down off of the ledge was that… I’m needed.

And I need you.

Much Love,

– Brandon Holly –

Ten Thousand

I think I’ve finally figured it out. I’ve come to the conclusion that we all have too much to lose to be outstanding. I’ve been listening to Macklemore lately and the song 10,000 hours came on. Coincidentally, I currently received the book Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell from a good friend.

Malcolmore or… Mackle Gladwell… YOU decide!

Malcolm’s book and Macklemore’s song reference a popular expertise theory that suggests that the greats of our world didn’t become great just because they won some kind of genetic lottery. Rather, they became great as a result of hard work, grit and diligence.

The study suggests that in order to become an expert at something, it takes 10,000 hours of practice. That’s an unusual time statement. It’s annoying. It’s like a mother saying her child is 29 months old… He’s TWO you freak!

Yep, she’s only 238 months old! That’s why we DIDN’T buy the Chemistry Pop-Up book this year.

Anyway, a different study suggests that as numbers become bigger they become less comprehensible. So, I like to break things down. Let’s say that I want to become a great writer. According to the 10,000 hour theory I would have to practice for a little over a year straight. And when I say straight, I mean I would literally need to be writing 24 hours a day. That’s impossible. Let’s break that down a bit more. If I were to divide that time into two years, I’ll be great by just practicing 12 hours a day. Still a bit egregious, eh? Well, let me put it in terms that I can understand.

If I consider the theory to be correct. I am saying that if I were to devote my time to picking up a new skill right this moment and I vowed to practice 2hrs everyday, I would become great after 13.7 years. That’s a long time. That’s quite a commitment. Worth it? Yes. But can most of us do that? No.

My day today: Wake up at 5am, go to work, work till 3pm, need to go to the grocery store to buy food for dinner, cook dinner, mow the yard, exercise, eat dinner, and finally relax at about 8pm when all is said and done. The last thing I want to do is hone my craft at that time. I’m exhausted! Is exhaustion just an excuse? Absolutely, but it’s a valid one.

Then, I imagine how realistically it would be for me to become great when I think of potential children. I don’t have time to become great when I’m feeding my kids. They can’t get neglected just because I have a passion.

Well, I hope someday I will become a great writer. But, until then, I’ll just keep putting my nose to the grindstone when I can and maybe after 15 years I’ll get a call.

The point of this post wasn’t to be pessimistic. Actually, quite the contrary. Knowing that greatness is within my reach makes me just want to practice more! Even if it takes forever, I have to try!

Improving Improv

Hey Kids!

I’m not actually dead.

Not today… death.

I’ve just been busy.

 

Something that I’ve been troubled about lately, has been my unwillingness to volunteer. I used to volunteer all of the time. Hell, I even gave two years of my life for the sole purpose of volunteering. However, lately I haven’t been giving myself the time.

I write, I read, and I work 40+ hours every week. Not to mention all of the time I spend doing improv and just general relaxation time. But, I still enjoy helping people and it hurts my soul to not be doing that. And I don’t want that to sound pretentious. It reminds me of a blog a fellow RPCV of mine wrote that stuck with me. He spoke of his volunteer service as something that lacks any kind of special altruism.

Oh, you dedicated nearly a third of your twenties to do relief work? You must be SOOO generous…

I agree with his blog for the most part. In the blog he writes of his experience as something that he just happened to be doing. My desire to continue volunteering is something that just happens to be of interest to me. But, that does not make me noble. For instance, saving lives as a doctor would be more noble and helpful. But, I am not inclined to be a doctor any more than some doctors would have been inclined to join the Peace Corps.

With that said, contrary to the tone I started this blog with. I just recently volunteered!

I did an improv presentation and demonstration with about 15 underprivileged kids and nothing in the world can compare to my elation! There is this place called Studio 222 and they do this amazing middle school after school program for kids in the Oklahoma City area. They pick the kids up from school, they feed them, they teach them all types of different art, and then take them home! It’s like latchkey on steroids. The directors and artists that help run the program clearly have a strong beautiful passion for the kids and the kids are absolutely amazing.

Yes, as a matter of fact they ARE cooler than you.

I, with the help of my good friend Raychel, led a short little presentation concerning improv, what it can do for you (the answer is a LOT), and then had the kids do a few improv exercises.

I was floundering a lot, but with Ray’s help we pulled it off. And apparently the kids loved it! The community atmosphere is addicting and the program’s passion for The Arts is spectacular.

I haven’t had that much fun in a long time and it only strengthens my resolve to become an educator in some way shape or form. It also whet my appetite for more volunteering. It’s strange how wonderful helping other people makes you feel. Seriously, if you are a selfish mother lover. Then you should be volunteering like crazy! It may seem like doing work for other people, but it actually brings YOU more joy. Thus, even the most callous of hearts should be getting their volunteer on!

All of these men should have just volunteered!

Much Love,

-Brandon Holly-

Celebrity

I was thinking of posting more than once per month.

No, in all seriousness. I was thinking about celebrity. I have ranted about celebrity quite a bit to my friends and family. In The Philippines I got a taste of celebrity. I was “famous” in my town merely for being the black guy. People wanted me to go their parties, be a ninong (godfather) to their children, break bread with them, etc. They wanted me around for no other reason than the fact that I was different. There were many well-intentioned people who were mostly just curious and intrigued by this foreigner that (as far as they were concerned) randomly decided to settle in their otherwise homogenous community. But, there were other people who were “out to get me”. I put that in quotes because of the fact that I understand why they would be compelled to try to take advantage of a foreigner. Now, that does not mean that it is right. However, I can empathize.

I say this because of the fact that I just don’t quite understand celebrity. We’re all just people trying to get along in this world. When we get down to the core of things, there really aren’t that many things separating me from oh… let’s say Kobe Bryant.

I see no difference

Except for the fact that he is a world-class athlete, makes millions of dollars every year, may or may not be a rapist, etc…. ok ok so superficially we are quite different.

HOWEVER!

When you really break it down. He is just a man. And I am also just a man. Just another dude. He eats, sleeps, breathes, and will die just like every other single human being before him. So will I.

But… there is something very interesting about celebrities. It’s not that they aren’t human. But… somehow they seem so much more than that. They seem larger-than-life. They seem SUPER human. I’m not immune. I would babble like a baby if any of these men just happened to show up on my porch…

Rudy!

I studied at Julliard! (Seriously, give the man more respect)

Yes, I picked this picture.

This. This is a man.

(Yes, they ARE all comics… ;-))

And naturally, I could keep adding people to this list. People I respect. People I look up to. People I emulate, for no other reason than the fact that they either make me happy or are doing something I want to do. I inexplicably care about these people. I want good things to happen to them. I respect them. I IDOLIZE them.

But honestly….

Why?

I don’t know them. They have never done anything for me (other than entertain me and it’s not like they were doing that specifically for me. They get paid a lot of money to be amusing.), they have never spent one moment in my air space, they do not even know I exist.

Yet… I care about them. Albeit, in a very shallow way.

Why is that? What makes celebrities so different?

I don’t know. I really don’t. All I really do know is that celebrities have a lot of INFLUENCE.

And… well, that is a whole lot of responsibility. So, maybe we should cut them some slack when they slip and make mistakes. Because… well, we make the same mistakes too. It just so happens that we don’t do them while the entire nation is staring at us.

But more importantly. The point of this blog is….

even if you’re not a celebrity, you have influence.

At any given moment, SOMEONE is looking at you. Someone is curious about you. Someone is watching you react to situations. Someone out in the world is waiting to call you out… (I need to stop using these ellipses… dammit!)

or praise you.

So, my goal is to try to sincerely be a hero. I might not have the sphere of influence as say:

Bill Murray will show up at your house party just to F***. S***. UP!

But, I have influence. And I want that influence to be positive.

I want to use my influence to inspire people to be more than they think they could ever be. I want: To help people. To make the world more loving. To make the world more peaceful. To make the world more beautiful. And to influence others and to INSPIRE others to do the same.

I started by helping Nicki Minaj out of the snow earlier this week.

You’re welcome, Nicki.

Ok, so she wasn’t REALLY Nicki Minaj, but the resemblance was striking.

I guess I could use my celebrity just to inspire people to look cool…

I don’t usually care about celebrity fashion, but…*breathes in* baHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Anyway, the new year shall be much more bloggier than this year I hope! I love you all! And…

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Much Love,

– Brandon Holly –

Give Thanks

So, this week has been Thanksgiving. I should be writing about all of the things that I’m thankful for. The fact that I have a roof over my head, a health plan, food in my stomach, shoes on my feet. I have plenty for which to be thankful. I should be singing praises to G-d and the universe for putting me where it has. I’m a very fortunate man.

My thinking reasonable mind knows that I have nothing to complain about. However, my feelings are different. I’m not saying that my circumstances are the worst by any means. However, I do know that everything is relative. And, comparing everything that has happened this year in relation to the past two and a half years. I’ve come to the realization that- my life blows…

Just replace the books with like… life and you got it.

But no, seriously. This year has had a LOT of satisfying moments and I really am truly thankful for them. But, that does not change the fact that this has also been a particularly difficult year. I am a positive person. I am highly optimistic and we will get to that later. But, I’m about to list off why my life has been absolutely LAME this year.

Top 10 lame things that happened to me this year! In no particular order:

1.) Feeling of loneliness and emptiness due to leaving the Peace Corps and not having a defined “purpose” any more.
2.) Crippling debt
3.) Literally almost dying.
4.) MORE crippling debt. (Go medical bills!)
5.) Crappy cubicle job that felt soul-sucking (but at least it paid well enough)
6.) Losing crappy cubicle job the WEEK I decide to move out on my own.
7.) Nearly going bankrupt and living EXACTLY paycheck to paycheck. (Plasma Centers are great)
8.) Friends going through personal issues.
9.) My family dog whom I loved dearly died.
10.) Learning of some heartbreaking family news.

and 1 to grow on!

11.) Most recently… I’ve been dealing with the death of a good friend’s girlfriend. She was also a friend of mine. Admittedly, not extremely close, but still a friend and still just another dark thing that has happened this year.

And as the resident happy-go-lucky, ever-resilient, optimistic guy… I feel like this most of the time.

Well, ok not quite as emo.

But strangely enough… sometimes I feel like the opposite. B-because I AM optimistic!

Life is fun!

And people want to know how you’re feeling. They want to be supportive. And they WANT to be a shoulder to cry on, but, I’m not crying. Now, I DO have moments of sadness and anger and crippling depression just like each and every one of you.

However, they just don’t tend to last very long. I’ve said the following to friends many times. The way you process pain is no better or worse than the way anyone else does. It’s what you DO about it that really matters. If you’re being destructive or counterproductive to your recovery, that’s different. However, if you naturally just need some alone time, that’s fine. If you naturally need your friends, get ’em! For me, I naturally go to a very dark and sad place for a period of time. (some longer than others) and then… I’m ready! I’m good! I’m happy!

There is just too much good in the world to let things get the best of you. As I’ve said before, you only lose when you give up! And these tough times only make me want to fight harder.

So even though life has been doing this to me…

Life smarts

I know I will make it, that things will get better and eventually after all the beat downs and training, when I’m ready…

I’ll get up again, fight, and WIN!

Life is hard, but… good friends, words of wisdom, and a lot of thanksgiving food fortifies a man and enables him to go on. And THAT ladies and gentlemen is what I’m thankful for this year.

Much Love,

– Brandon Holly –