We fall in and out of love at least 800 times during the course of our lives. At least, that is how I feel. And if you by that, then we also have at least 800 affairs during the course of our lives.
We really do. This is not even counting the thousands of half-loves Rumi says we have.
But we also have hundreds of full loves. They inform our decisions. They cause our heartbreaks and conflicts of interest. And, we constantly have to cheat on our loves. Not because we want to, but because life necessitates this.
Life tells us that we cannot be writers and artists and scientists and criminals and leaders and followers and sexy acrobats all at the same time. And, it’s not the same as a mean authority figure attempting to control you. It’s just the reality of things. Yes, we can be all of those things. But, we cannot be hopelessly and soulfully and indefatigably devoted to ONE of them.
Now, before I go on allow me to clarify. I think we can be that kind of devoted to things that are beyond us because they are precisely that. It is BEYOND (things like hope, G-d, love, etc); but, I mean these smaller things. These things that are close to our size.
Yes, I’m a writer. However, I’m also a significant-other and a child and a cousin and a worker and on and on…
But, what I am trying to learn is this:
How do I stop being these things separately and sinfully, but to rather connect these things. How can I as a human being find unity of mind.
How can I MARRY all of the parts of who I am?
I don’t have the answer yet.
But, maybe someday.
– Brandon Holly –