Life, Philosophy

How I Learned To Write A Good Story

I really look up to Kevin Smith. I do, he’s a self-proclaimed fat lazy slob and I look up to him!

Do you think Bob knew someday black kids in their Mid-Twenties from the heartland of America would one day write blogs about him?

Why? Well, because when he was two years younger than I am now, he wrote, directed and even acted in his own indie film for 27.5 thousand dollars (Pennies in the film world) and it blew up and is now a beloved cult classic! (it made over 3million dollars) And it’s not like he’s a one-hit wonder. That was just the beginning! I could go on and on about all of the cool crap he’s done, but I shan’t because that’s not the point!

The point is this, what separates him from any of us? I mean, before Clerks he was a normal guy like you or me. The convenience store Clerks is shot in and around… IS WHERE HE WORKED! So seriously, how is he any different? Well, I’m going to buy his book soon and find out, but until then, I have suspicions.

I suspect the difference between Kevin Smith and any one of us schlepping around everyday to our monotonous jobs, boring classes (Stay in school kids, don’t hear what I’m not saying), and meaningless daily routines is that he did something. Sure, he calls himself lazy, but come on… He writes books, makes movies, produces podcasts, and raises a daughter named after a Batman Supervillain all at the same time!

Wow… I just re-read all of that. I promise you he’s not paying me. (Though, maybe he would. I’ll tweet him and find out)

Anyway, the point is, I feel like the only thing holding most of us back from becoming something more than what we are at any given moment, is simply the fact that we haven’t done it! We haven’t gone out and become great! I was on the website io9 (also, not paying me) and if you click that link there is a list listing  Pixar’s 22 rules of good storytelling.

Pixar’s 22 Rules of Good Storytelling or How We Made Millions of Dollars by Making You Fall in Love with a Box..

Anyway, the first rule is… “You admire a character for trying more than for their successes” I think that’s key to writing our OWN life stories too. And I know what you might be thinking, “Well, what if you ALREADY tried” Well, then try again. And be honest with yourself. Sure, you tried. But did you really try that hard?

I’m beginning to believe the internet is run by cats…

I’ll use myself as an example! I’ve written TWO complete fiction books, one script, and one creative non-fiction book and what have they gotten me? … Nothin’.  But why? Well, let’s look at their history: Lost, Forgotten, Needs editing and Needs editing… I didn’t DO anything with them! I tried writing a story, seemingly succeeded, but ultimately failed because I didn’t try hard enough!

I’ve been wanting to do stand-up and I’ve written countless jokes! … in my head. What’s the ONLY thing stopping me from doing something cool?? I think it just might be my own refusal to do anything with all of the passion and creativity that bounces around my head everyday!

I feel like the same thing that makes a compelling fictional story, ALSO makes a compelling life story. So, today Brandon Holly is just here to say… Try. And even if you don’t succeed, you’ll be doing something worthy of respect.

Much Love,

– Brandon Holly –

In my attempt to try… I’ll take a SMALL step forward and post one of my jokes… eesh. Tell me whatcha think!

It would be awesome to tell kid jokes as an adult! I wish they worked. But they don’t. Adults are too “smart” and just because they’ve heard a joke before, that means it sucks. But, it would be awesome to be able to tell little kid jokes as an adult because it would make being social much less awkward.

As a little kid, it was easy. You go to school, you sit next to a kid who has a superhero lunchbox. You say, “Spiderman is my favorite!” He says, “Me too!” then… BAM! Instant best friends.

That ish doesn’t work in the adult world. How do you make friends with dudes at the age of 26? Going around talking about your favorite color and Spiderman doesn’t work!

That’s why I wish we could tell little kid jokes. I wish I could just go up to a group of dudes and just go, “Hey guys, hey, dunno if you knew this, but chicks? Chicks go to Jupiter to get more stupid-er. But, BUT bro… us? We got to Mars to get candy bars…”

And RAUCOUS laughter ensues. Some dude puts his arm around my shoulder and is like, “This guy… this guy is THE SH*T!” and BAM 5 instant best friends.

Yo, Diddles! You hear what my man said about Jupiter?

BUT no… ADULTS SUCK and would think and/or say, “Well ACTUALLY, candy bars? Um, hello obesity and diabetes, and don’t even get me started about how grammatically incorrect what you just said is, *scoffs* like STUPIDER is a word… idiot.”

And how exactly are we going to get to Mars anyway? Yeah, that’s what I thought. You didn’t think about that did ya’?

Adults suck…

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