I read an article awhile back about how the feelings of passionate love, cognitively speaking, in some ways mirror the effects of cocaine ingestion. Now, the only stimulant drug I use and frequently abuse is caffeine, so I’m not endorsing illegal substances. However, I do want to touch on love.
When I was more, shall I say, “fundamental” in my spiritual beliefs I was highly conflicted. You see, the bible thumpers told me to “love” everyone. G-d is love and there is no better way to be heavenly towards your fellow man than to just love. With that said, they also told me to not drink or smoke or chew or to go with girls who do. I was told to love, but for G-d’s sake, have some boundaries! One such boundary was homosexuality and those who “practice” it.
Love is a beautiful thing. But wait, no, apparently that’s not quite right. You see, HETEROSEXUAL love is a beautiful thing. ONLY that. Growing up, I knew many homosexuals, but I was told that they were going to go to Hell and that I should probably avoid them, much like the girls in the aforementioned cautionary rhyme.
I was told that, even though they go through so much persecution and that even though they seem to struggle and that even though they (sometimes) wish they were just born straight… (or not at all), that they were choosing all of this.
But you see, even as a fundamentalist Christian, I was also a thinker. I thought to myself, “Hm, well I’m NOT gay but apparently I could choose to be so. Thus, as a thought experiment I tried to just be gay. I imagined meeting a guy that I got along with in the same ways that I’d like to get along with a girlfriend. I imagined us deciding to hang out, play, eat dinner, watch movies, etc. Then…
I imagined us hugging and I thought to myself, “Hm, ok that’s not too uncomfortable” So, I took it up a notch and imagined us holding hands and thought, “Ok, it’s a bit strange, but maybe?” THEN, I tried to imagine me kissing another man. I can tell you this as a man who is very comfortable in his sexuality and is totally fine with seeing others expressing passion and love for one another. …
I couldn’t do it. The idea was repulsive to me. The thought of pushing the idea any further ceased.
I just couldn’t imagine how someone could just choose to be gay. There’s no way I could. Talking to homosexual friends revealed that they felt the same way about being sensual with a woman. It wasn’t just less preferable. It was literally repulsive. I was conflicted, I love my homosexual friends. I can’t choose to be gay and they can’t seem to just CHOOSE to be straight… so how do I reconcile this with what I’ve been told?
I stopped really letting the problem bother me. I decided that, well, I’m pretty sure Jesus wouldn’t turn people away just because they were gay. So, why should I?
Time passed and eventually I came to some kind of compromise. Well, if people are going to be gay and if G-d is love and love is important. Then fine! I don’t see what being gay has to do with much of anything else, so, let homosexuality exist (because apparently it just does, whether we like it or not) and just say we should all be held to the same standard of integrity whether you’re gay or not.
But then I found out…
No. If you’re gay you can’t get married. B- but wait, as Christians shouldn’t we AT LEAST be ok with the idea of chastity and commitment instead of promiscuity? (Not that single people, gay or otherwise, are automatically promiscuous; but, bare with me) Wouldn’t marriage be the ultimate way to reconcile our faith with something we just can’t control. Can’t two men or two women stand in front of G-d and make a commitment? Wouldn’t that be a good thing? A preferable thing? The ACCEPTING thing? The, dare I say it… CHRISTIAN thing to do?
Well, apparently not.
As I’m sure you all well know, Gay Marriage (Which is an admittedly silly term, marriage is just marriage. I was listening to some comedian or something and he made a good point about that term. It’s not like when I go walk the dog, I go GAY walk the dog. I just walk the dog) has been a hot topic as of late. What with North Carolina saying, “NOPE” and POTUS saying, “Why not?” everybody is full of… themselves. An amusing result of all of the drama was this website: http://whenobamaendorsed.tumblr.com/
Anyway, I guess the point of this blog is just me expressing the fact that all of the hoopla just has me feeling a bit bemused. I just don’t see what the big deal is and maybe that makes me ignorant or a heathen. I just wish we could all just get along, ya know?
Let people love each other. I don’t see an issue. And sure, I hear you “sanctity of marriage folks” balking at me. However, think of all of the children born out of wedlock, born as an “accident” (no child is an accident), born through anger, violence, selfishness… that doesn’t ruin the beauty and awe and “sanctity” of life. Think of all of the violence, pain, anger, and disappointment that happens all through the pursuit of sex… That doesn’t ruin the beauty, awe and tenderness of a newlywed couple’s first night together. What I’m saying is, just because something happens in a way we might not personally enjoy, that doesn’t mean it’s any less beautiful. Does it? Because if it does, if one little thing comes in and whatever we hold as holy suddenly breaks down… then I think perhaps the thing wasn’t all that sanctified to begin with.
I dunno, those are my two cents.
Much Love (with a capital L),
– Brandon Holly –
(FYI, I DO believe marriage is a beautiful holy wonderful thing. I think it can be flawed like all things humans get caught up in, but beautiful nonetheless)