It Gets Better

First of all, I just want to start my blog by making mention once again of the search terms that bring people to my site. I don’t know who you are, but whoever searched for ‘Chord Overstreet Sex’ and found their way to my blog… I’m sorry. I seriously doubt you found what you were looking for here.

^ in this person’s defense Chord Overstreet IS a dreamboat.

He sexy and he know it.

Anyway, I felt compelled to write a blog. Why? I’m not sure. Probably, because I’m a lost, scared and confused twenty-something that is trying to make something of himself and the world in which he lives.

My blog’s core always stays the same. I am a guy who is hopelessly and impatiently trying to help the world become a better place. However, what I wrap that core in changes depending on my life situation. I guess that makes sense. I suppose that’s normal.

You're a nerd if (without looking it up) you know why I'd post this as a representative of normal.

Anyway, I suppose my life is “normal” at the moment. At least for the average 25 year old male. Darn this “quarter-life crisis” stuff. I’d like to think that all of this “gets better”. However, sometimes that’s hard to believe. Ok, I’ll admit that I’m listening to the band fun. and the chorus of the song “It Gets Better” came on.

"Yes, I know it hurts at first but, it gets better" .Nate Ruess.

Well, even with the optimistic words of the former The Format frontman Nate Ruess- I still feel myself feeling- not hopeles… But, I’m still wanting. If you asked me at eighteen what I’d be doing at twenty-five I doubt the dialogue would be anything like this…

25yr. old me: Hey man, how’s it going?

I'm technically only 24 here, but this picture never fails to amuse me.

18yr. old me: Uh… who are you? And why are you dripping wet and shirtless?

Yep, this happened. He sexy and he know it.

25yr. old me: Both questions are irrelevant. I’m here to ask you one simple question.

18yr. old me: Fine, but put a shirt on first.

25yr. old me: Ugh.. I forgot how insufferable I was when I was eigh- er… anyway, ya happy?

18yr. old me: Yes, I am. Though, you didn’t have to lose the hair. And what were you saying abou-

25yr. old me: Anyway! The question is… Where do you imagine you’ll be at 25?

18yr. old me: Interesting question! Uh… I dunno.

25yr. old me: Of course you don’t! Just imagine!

18yr. old me: Well, let’s see… I’ll probably be starting my career as a digital media expert.

25yr. old me: (Thinking: Oh yeah… I forgot about that…) Psh! That’s not gonna happ- er… go on…

18yr. old me: *skeptical glance* Anyway… I’ll probably be starting my career and perhaps I’ll be engaged by then. Not sooner than that though b/c I’ll have just gotten out of the Peace Corps. Anyway, I’ll be starting a career and starting to think about a family.

25yr. old me: What if I were to tell you that in reality, you’ll be an underemployed manual laborer, with no car, living with your parents, and without a girlfriend around because she lives 500 miles away.

18yr. old me: You’re saying what if you told me that I’d be a lonely loser…

25yr. old me: No, no… not a lonely loser. Just a… Yes, yes that’s precisely what I’m saying.

18yr. old me: You’re me from the future aren’t you?

25 yr. old me: Yes, yes I am.

18yr. old me: F my life.

In reality, my life isn’t actually all that bad. I just feel like there’s more waiting for me out there. I am still in fact actively waiting, but it’s hard. I’m impatient and I’m starting to realize that no matter what you do, we human beings really have very little control over what happens to us in life. What we DO have control over is how we react to those things.

I guess the moral of this blog is… Don’t lose hope, be patient, and even though sometimes it doesn’t always feel like it gets better. I know it will. I just know it!

Must... stay... optimistic...

My posts have been about wanting something more… that’s a good feeling to have; but it’s bad that I just WANT. I feel like I’m not DOING enough. If someone just wants to figure this all out for me, that would be great.

No takers?

Oh well…

I love you all!

Much Love,

– Brandon Holly –


5 thoughts on “It Gets Better

  1. Vickie Horn says:

    1.) YOU WANTED TO BE MARRIED AND (ALMOST) BE HAVING BABIES BY THE AGE OF 25????!!!!?!?!?!?!?!! That is RIDURROUS MAN!!! (I’m not actually judging you… I’m just ALWAYS very surprised when I find out people INTENTIONALLY want to be married and have babies at, what I consider to be, a young age. This is coming from a girl who can’t see herself being married before the age of 30… at the EARLIEST… although my boyfriend seems to have different ideas…. but that’s beside the point. And I never have seen myself wanting to have children (maaayyybe adoption) so… never is a pretty long time compared to in your 20’s. Lol

    2.) Brandon, you are doing just fine! I mean, you didn’t get back from the Phillies very long ago at all! I’m sure you’ll be up and on your way to something else in no time. Even though you’ve always been one to yearn for more I have also known you to always, ALWAYS be someone who stays pretty busy with different events and activities. I’m sure you have your fair share of chill time too, but I have also known you to usually stay pretty busy along with that. With that said, I can compare this time you are at in your life with where I was at before coming to Korea. I was working at Sonic as a carhop and it SUCKED! Lol…. so I know when you are actually LIVING in the Moment of Suck it is still just plain awful no matter what advice one is given.

    3.) I would argue that people actually DO have more control over what happens/goes on in their lives than maybe we realize most of the time. I mean, of course we don’t have control over A LOT of stuff, and yes, we have control over how we react. But we also have quite an amazing amount of control over what happens in our lives… even if it’s not an instant result/something that will take a long time and a lot of focus to create/change/make happen. At least, that’s my 2 cents. Aaaaand I’ve always been known to be a cynic and a pessimist soooo that was not meant to seem like a hopeful, “listen-to-me-and-cheer-up-because-you-DO-have-control-over-your-life-you-just-gotta-BELIEVE!” speech…. it was just the paradigm of how I see things….. so yeah….

  2. Vickie Horn says:

    Your dialogue between yourself and yourself was very entertaining and humorous. Well done, writer! I laughed out loud at my desk while reading it and my co-teacher asked me what was so funny. Lol

  3. Vickie Horn says:

    Yeah yeah, I can never get it all in just ONE comment……… Just had to say, I know what a bell curve is! Sorry to give it away? Or maybe that is not the answer you were implying? *shrug*……..

  4. Oh Vickie…

    1.) Calm down there homegirl. I said I’d be THINKING about it… Not married yet just possibly engaged. When I say family I don’t necessarily mean kids. A husband and wife are a family in and of themselves. You’re funny though.

    2.) Hahaha! I’m actually not feeling like my life is sucky, just stagnant. They say this is common for a lot of RPCVs (Returned Peace Corps Volunteers), because for nearly 2.5yrs of your life you’ve been doing something meaningful and then suddenly you’re plopped back into your “home” society where you resume your role as “that one kid” instead of a PCV who is doing development work in a foreign developing country.

    3.) I agree and don’t agree at the same time. I think we do have a lot of control in many aspects of our lives. I think there is a lot to be said about personal responsibility and dealing with consequences and that kind of thing. However, I also know that I almost died a few weeks ago.

    Ah. And yes (in layman’s terms) the gaussian function you just described IS a bell curve, but only if you can answer why it is a representative of NORMAL do you get the prize. If you look up Gaussian function you’ll know, however… don’t give it away. The point is the real nerds will know it without looking anything up.

  5. Hey! I’m not really sure why, but I felt like leaving a comment. I just turned 24 so we’re kinda in the same boat, haha! I’m not living with my parents, though. (Gotta say, it definitely gets better when you’re on your own.)

    In high school, heck, even through most of college, I always felt like I “wanted to change the world” too. But, like you said, we aren’t completely in control of our lives. So maybe it’s better to just strive for contentment and maybe the world will change in the process.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s