peace corps, Uncategorized

That Time We Almost Got Into A Barfight

Now, for the blog post you’ve all been waiting for… BUT FIRST!

You know you’re from the southern U.S. when you find yourself forgetting that 1.) Tea is supposed to be served hot and 2.) Tea is not just naturally sweet.

Seriously, why does this exist?

Also, I was thinking about the movie The Social Network and how it kinda’ resembles the story of Judaism to Christianity.

No, really! Think about it!

Well sure, in Jesus' case it was only 12 friends.

First – Harvard Connection was totally exclusive. You could only join if you were a student of Harvard or a few related universities at first, right? Well, what’s more exclusive than Judaism? God’s chosen people?? Come on! Plus, you have to be BORN Jewish. At least, anyone can theoretically get into Harvard with the correct credentials.

Then – A man raised Jewish tells the world that there is another way!

The Messiah! ... Of social networking.

Next – He was highly persecuted! People didn’t like him! People more powerful than him were forced to flex their muscle and put him in his place.

Crucifixion > Billions of Dollars in settlements ... But still.

Lastly – Despite the intense persecution – Facebook/Christianity persevered and became a world wide phenomenon!

Zuck on it!

Anyway,

Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthin’ Ta F’ Wit’ pt. 2

After an exhausting but all in all rewarding teacher training, the PCVs wanted to celebrate! Luckily, our training ended in the middle of a gigantic festival called Ati-Atihan*

You'd think that thousands of Filipinos in black face would be offensive to me, right? Surprisingly, no.

Thus, there were plenty of places for us to hang-out, dance, and party! We entered a bar that was well known to a friend of ours. We figured it was a nice place because there was an entrance fee and everything!** We all bought beers, some bought shots, and everyone stood around merry-making.

Eventually, one of us had the presence of mind to find a booth for us to sit in. We all migrated over and continued the festivities. The live band that was playing took a break from their set. I’m not sure whose idea it was, but next thing I know, 5 of us are on stage asking the band to borrow their instruments to play a song.

The band asked the establishment if it was ok. They were reluctant at first, but they eventually caved and let us play ONE song.*** Suddenly, I have an Ibanez guitar strapped to my shoulder and I am staring at a large crowd of people.

F**k You! ... Was the song we performed.

What I Got - Our Encore Performance

Well, after rocking out and feeling fairly good about our performance, we sat back down. I ordered some french fries and leaned back in order to bask in our 15 minutes of fame.

Then, things took a turn…

My friends and I have a dumb game. It works like this – Somebody starts with a magical force called “The Wah” (It is based on THIS icebreaker game.). This person can pass “The Wah” to anyone. When you do this, “The Wah” is now in that person’s possession. That person may now pass “The Wah” to whomever he (yes, we’re all male) chooses and the game continues ad infinitum.

Now, naturally when you get “Wah’d” there is a price to pay. The price is this – You MUST finish whatever drink is in front of you … Even if you just poured it.

This Is What A Typical Morning After A Good "Wah Game" Night Looks Like

Well, long story short. I got “Wah’d” I finished the beer I was nursing and went up to the bar to buy another. The bartender asked me if I wanted her to uncap my beer. This is a question that is rarely if ever asked of me. They generally just open it with no questions asked. In hindsight, I believe G-d was warning me of something. Unfortunately, I missed it. I answered, “Siyempre, ate!”

As I was walking back to my seat, a drunk man who apparently enjoyed the songs we played wanted me to dance with him.**** I shrugged in a “When in Rome” fashion, put my open beer in the air to avoid hitting him, and began to boogie.

In my peripheral vision, I saw a very tall (for a Filipino) man pantomiming bumping into me with his behind. I naively took this as him just playing around with his buddies. Thus, I ignored it only to find him performing the very action he was pretending to do!

My open beer splashed a bit onto my new found friend and myself. I apologized profusely to my dance partner and enraged, I swiftly pivoted around to face the man who assaulted me. As I mentioned before, he was taller but I definitely weighed more. I glared at him with a beer in one hand and a clenched fist in the other.

He suddenly threw up his hands in a “Hey man, peace” gesture and held out his hand for a bro-hug.

This is NOT a properly executed bro-hug.

My mind was screaming two things, “Oh hell to tha naw!” and “Be cool, you’re a Peace Corps Volunteer, brah!” I shook my head, slapped his hand…hard, and walked away.

I sat down and shortly thereafter, my fries came! Thus, if you know me, you know that meant that all was good.

I cooled down. Until…

A friend of mine told me a story about how he was disrespected by some guy. You see, I thought it was just some random isolated incident. This jerk is TARGETING us!

Me: Wait- He wasn't kinda' tall was he?

Friend: Yeah, he was!
Me: He wasn’t wearing a hat was he?
Friend: Yeah, Yeah I think so.
Me: Was it THAT guy?

"Who all seen the jerk who keeps messing with us say yeah!"

*****

Friend: OMGWTFBBQ! THAT'S HIM!

My anger came back. This was partially because the french fries had disappeared. But it also had to do with the fact that it is one thing to disrespect me, but now he’d disrespected not one, but TWO people associated with me!

My rational side kicked in again, “You’re a PCV a Peace Corps Volunteer. Dude, just let it go”

But I couldn’t let it go. Thus, I formulated a plan. I was going to do something without REALLY doing something.

I’m not proud of letting my pride win, but it did. That darn testosterone (and alcohol) got the best of me. The idea was to use the C.R. (restroom) and push through people on the way. That way, I could shove him and it would look like me just trying to get to the C.R.

Well, I executed my plan perfectly except for one minor detail.

Hadouken!

I shoved him a bit too hard. He fell down.

“Shoot!”

Uh oh… well, it’s fight or flight and even though I kinda’ wanted to fight… I had to keep on a-walking as if it was truly just an accident. He was not happy, but I don’t think he really wanted to fight anyway. He half-heartedly took a swing at the back of my head.

My mind: “Go for it!”
My rational mind: “You are a PCV!”

I just kept walking as if I didn’t notice. I relieved myself and upon exiting the C.R. I purposefully found him and found a path back to my seat away from him. A couple of friends had gotten up to dance, but I thought to myself, “Dude, you better stay put”

A few moments passed and two of my friends came back from the dance floor.

Friends: Dude! We got the guy kicked out!

Apparently the guy decided to chest up to one of us.

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Not just any one of us. He picked Keith Fields.

Let’s use this picture from that night to accurately portray Keith’s size.

Keith's A Tall Motha-shutyomouth

Now, I’m not the biggest guy in the world; but, Keith makes me look like a damn hobbit! Well, luckily Keith is a fairly laid back “No Pasa Nada” type guy. Travis, one of the other guys there, had the presence of mind to talk to the staff.

With the guy kicked out, we could finally enjoy the rest of our night without incident.

……….

We totally could’ve taken him though.

Much Love,

– Brandon Holly –

p.s. – Next time I’ll just do what our good friend Ryan did. He just sat at the table all night taking shake face pictures. He has an awesome blog that is similar in format to mine!

Ryan and Mo (my site mate) - Masters of ShakeFace

p.p.s. – What a lame reason to get yourself kicked out of the Peace Corps. glad nothing came of all of this.

*I may explain the festival in more detail some other day. It has a lot to do with the child Jesus and the chant in which someone exclaims, “Viva kay señor Santo Niño!” and everyone responds with, “VIVA!”

**It was the equivalent of about a dollar, but still!

***We played two. The crowd liked us!

****I don’t think a man asking another man to dance with him is common in The States, but it is not so strange here.

*****If that picture meant nothing to you, watch this:

Advertisements
Standard

2 thoughts on “That Time We Almost Got Into A Barfight

  1. Vickie Horn says:

    Wow, glad that night ended well!
    Also, you have so many American pop culture references to your blogs. Haha… Being half way across the world you actually seem to be more “with it” and “hip” with the American pop culture than even I do here in the states. I haven’t seen the social network movie or even knew the guy’s name had something to do with a “Z”. Haha…. I guess I just don’t pay as much attention to that kind of stuff as much as I used to….. hmm……
    That’s awesome though. Way to go you for staying connected! 🙂

  2. Vickie Horn says:

    However! I DID get the leprechaun from Mobile, Alabama reference! Haha! That’s one of my fave videos of all time. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s