peace corps

Fast Food and Chocolate

Yeah, I want to post something real and substantial here. I really honestly do! I mean, let’s face it, it’s been an entire month and I haven’t posted a damn thing! Well, I’m sorry! I’ve been super busy! Christmas, New Years, Teacher Trainings… stuff just piles up and next thing you know you’re 20 days into a new month with no blog to show for it!

Well, I’m on limited time, so this is just a quick blog to entertain you! Another page ripped out of my journal, lightly edited, for the consumption of the general public.

Don’t worry, I’ll post a more personal update soon!

The mental state of anyone who not only applies, gets accepted, and joins the Peace Corps, but also stays in The Corps should be closely monitored. These people are clearly not sane and should be dealt with quite cautiously.

To the happy home, with trees and flowers and chirping birds...

I know this to be true, because today I had a text conversation with a fellow PCV comparing ladies to restaurants. This was brought on by my buddy’s insight into Korean pop-culture. Apparently it is deemed appropriate to rate a woman’s beauty by her ability to work at an Outback Steakhouse.* I suppose that’s no different than American mens’ conception of Hooters girls.

Um...

Anyway, to be fair, I decided we needed to compare men to something also. Something women really like.

Balls... of chocolate.**

With that said. I will now try to remember and write down those comparisons!

Chicks

The Waffle House

This girl is kind of cute, at least cute enough to flirt with, but nothing will ever really happen with this girl, because, let’s face it, she’s just kinda’ greasy.

IHOP

This girl is extremely adorable, fun, and sweet. However, she has self-confidence issues because she’s a little chubby. Don’t feel bad though. She eventually falls for a guy that really makes her feel beautiful and good about herself.

Denny's ... is coming for you.

This was the girl he thought was pretty hot. That is, until the first time he saw her without make-up. Yikes! She also likes to pretend to be a ‘good girl’, but why is she always out all night?

McDonald's

This was the girl he dated in High School. She was pretty and nice, but she just isn’t good for him. They were constantly breaking up and making up. They’ll meet up again at their reunion and hit it off. They’ll make out in the janitor’s closet and he’ll swear her off for good this time… No really.

Taco Bell ... and their somewhat offensive ad campaign!

This is the party girl! She loves to get drunk and stay out all night long! He likes to hang out with her, but only when he’s drunk, getting drunk, or hungover …. or high.

Sonic ... the restaurant, not the hedgehog.

She’s the girl he dated one passionate summer. She’s cute, flirty, and bubbly in that high school cheerleader way. The relationship was great, but just kind of fizzled out after summer. They still hangout and are good friends!

Church's Chicken

This girl was bangin’ hot! She seemed to good to be true! This girl had great legs! We won’t even go into how big her breasts were! However, when he told his friends about her, they were terrified for him. Sure enough, a week later he was having to deal with trifling friends, unexplained bills, and a vaguely sick feeling in his stomach. He had to leave her. He saw her at a party a few months later. She was pregnant … it’s not his.

Dudes

KitKat

He’s the cute guy who’s super nice. Unfortunately, he’s too nice and people (girls) constantly take advantage of him.

Toblerone

He’s that super hot foreign guy she thought she was dating exclusively, but found out later that, he thinks love should be shared. And he was sharing a lot.

Mounds & Almond Joy (The most original couple in the world... I totally wanna do this)

Mounds and Almond Joy are the two brothers she met on her study abroad trip. Mounds was charming, but not especially attractive. Almond Joy was hot, but not very clever. Mounds caught the two making out and became terribly jealous, because he thought he was sincerely and deeply in love with her. She tried to explain, but now he won’t talk to her.

Rum Balls

Rum Balls guy is totally average, but given enough time he can somehow get her to do things she might not normally do. Nothing to crazy, but she’s always left with a strange, “Well, why did I do that?” feeling after hanging out with him.

Crunch Bar

Crunch bar is the boy next door. He wasn’t very cute growing up, but he was her best friend. They read books together, played together, and they even practiced kissing once! (The kiss was a very light graze on the lips. Mostly they only bumped foreheads) She knew he liked her, but she wouldn’t let anything happen. Too bad, because he really grew into his features. The summer after freshman year of college she bumped into him. He was with his very cute and very sweet girlfriend. She’s not jealous. But, she did feel somewhat satisfied after remembering that she was “technically” his first kiss.

Seriously though, a real update later!***

Much Love,

– Brandon Holly –

*Refute this all you want! This is all 3rd hand information!
**In my defense, I was gonna go with shoes!
***Though with the time it took me to write this and find the pictures I should have written a legitimate blog

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4 thoughts on “Fast Food and Chocolate

  1. Vickie Horn says:

    Haha! Great blog! Had good laughs from this humor!
    And on a serious note, I know you were just being silly, but you really do seem to be so insightful when it comes to people and relationships. I think it’s because you are a Phlegmatic temperament (you know, from that temperaments test I’m obsessed with. Phlegmatics tend to be good about this type of thing… and from your test results you already have confirmed that you are a Phlegmatic, so it makes perfect sense that you are insightful about these sorts of things, but it’s still noteworthy and impressive). 🙂

  2. Vickie Horn says:

    P.S.
    Given the choices in this blog, I’d say I’ve been an “IHOP” type of girl for most of my life. Which is sort of an upsetting restaurant resemblance since I actually can’t stand that restaurant! Haha 🙂 I’ve had good times with friends there but the food always makes me feel sick and I always run into people I know but don’t like. Haha….
    Anyway, let’s hope that part is true about me eventually ending up with a really great guy. 🙂

  3. Vickie Horn says:

    Oh yeah! I almost forgot!
    About the whole Korea thing about women who work at that restaurant. I dunno, it might be true! I actually wouldn’t doubt it. Your comparison to the Hooters thing might give people a better idea of what it means. Except, in Korea I’m sure it’s not quite as “skanky” as the Hooters reputation tends to be. The thing that comes to my mind is that I know for sure that it’s highly prestigious for a woman to become an airline stewardess. And it’s basically a requirement to be beautiful if you want that job. Every Korean knows it. So if you say you have been an airline stewardess that pretty much states that you are also beautiful, no question about it. Korean society can be kinda harsh when it comes to it’s demand for beauty. But hey, I guess American culture is that way too.

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