How Not To End A Relationship In Southeast Asia While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood*
[Disclaimer: This post is a light-hearted look into a good relationship with a good girl and a jerk. Also, just so you know, she proofread the post before I published it. Her only suggestion was to not make myself look like a jerk. But it just wouldn’t be entertaining or true otherwise]
Naturally as all stories like these start. Boy Meets World! Er. I mean Boy meets girl.
They become friends, but no attraction. Just friends. They have a ton of good times together and all is well. She tells him about the several latin boys she’s been dating. He tells her about this girl he really likes, but the summer is fast approaching so who knows where it will go.
That summer, Brandon decides to move to California with Simone and a friend. The friend drops out, but it turns out the girl he’s been into is moving there too! This is perfect! A new life in California, a good friend, and if all turns out ok maybe even a summer romance! Wizard.
The summer happens and things don’t end up working out with the other girl. Simone’s relationship with another boy isn’t working well either. They are both single. Still just friends though.
I guess a mixture of The California Sun and Surfing suddenly made Brandon see the tan hot girl he goes to the beach with every weekend. Brandon and Simone start dating shortly after this realization. They share their first kiss.
They go back to college the following semester and have fun telling all of their friends and families!
Their relationship had its ups and downs like all relationships, but they kissed a lot so that made up for the down times.
Well, senior year came and Brandon had to tell Simone that he would indeed go through with his life goal. He’s always wanted to join the Peace Corps.
Throughout the summer, Brandon really felt like the relationship should just end. But every time he brought up the topic it looked somewhat like this.
This could have been the end. She would have been unhappy, but at least it would have been a clean break. However, Brandon is a sucker for tears. The thought of hurting her, hurt him. Even though this only made things worse in the long run, he was a pansy.
He went away. They had a good long-distance relationship. He was having 2nd thoughts, but who knows? Time passed. Brandon kept going back and forth between keeping the relationship or dropping it. He kept dropping hints that maybe the relationship should end, but he never took the initiative.** And then . . .
She decided to come visit! Now, instead of stopping this (though not without some effort to get her not to) he thought, “Well, maybe seeing her again will make me change my mind”
So, she came over and they kissed a lot again.
I mean, he couldn’t tell her that he thinks they should separate while she’s in the country! How horrible would that be? So, she left. They had a good time, but Brandon knew he had to do something. However, he kind of put the relationship on the back burner because he got busy. He started spending time with other volunteers and kind of forgot about the girl back home.
She began feeling distant. This was great. She began expressing this to Brandon. However, he wanted the separation to be her idea, so he kept being stand-offish and unemotional towards her. Then a series of events happened.
They decided to take a break. Brandon said some mean things.*** He just really wanted her to just break it off! He didn’t want it to be just his idea. Well, it worked! He put on a great show. He made sure to make it sound like he was holding back tears. Not that he wasn’t upset, he was. However, he was also secretly relieved.
Then, like a typical man or maybe just like a typical Brandon, he let pride take hold. He wanted to make sure she still wanted him more than he wanted her. So, he tried to win her back. Why? Just to break it off again? Well, yeah. He had a whole plan of seeing if he could win her back and when he did he would say, “No, this is actually probably for the best” and end the relationship for good.
I know what you’re thinking.
He called her up and put on a huge show. It was epic. He really wanted to make sure she still wanted him. Well, he succeeded more or less and was going to wait until tomorrow to break up again. She beat him to it. He tried again, but then realized how ridiculously stupid his pride was. He stopped. he told her everything that I wrote here and more. Instead of being insanely mad for leading her on, she was just relieved that his heart wasn’t broken.
He was relieved she was still ok with everything and still wanted to be friends.
So all in all. Everything worked out for the best. They didn’t end up in a situation neither of them were ready to deal with:
But more important than that…
If you know Simone, you’ll know why this made me laugh.
– Brandon Holly –
**Hints. Without exception. Never. Work.
***Which actually means he said nothing at all.
Seriously though, I acted terrible. Thank you forgiving me, Simone! I love you, kid. You’re awesome!