Well, I came to the internet cafe with high hopes of posting something insightful. However, I left my journal at home. Thus, I’ll just type about some of the various people that come across my path on a regular basis.
1.) Crazy Ass Jenkins
There is a man with long thick hair. He has a very prominent goatee that comes down to a point. The man is always dirty and he always looks confused. I see him just about anytime I decide to walk down the highway.* One night I was stir-crazy and decided to just take a stroll down the street at night. I saw Crazy Ass Jenkins dancing around in this very small Bahay Kubo that is near the road. I think this is where he lives. I have had little to no actual contact with the man, but he is fun to look at.
2.) Geek Stink Breath
There is a girl in one of my classes. She is probably one of the smartest students I have. She speaks English very fluently. She is very astute and generally translates my information to the other students who don’t understand. Though at times this has been frustrating, because in her quest to look intelligent she’ll often not ACTUALLY understand and just tell my students something random. This naturally forces me to roll with the punches. Anyway, overall she is a good kid, but unfortunately she loves to get really close to talk to me and well . . . you guessed it. GIRL NEED A TIC TAC LIKE WHOA!!! But I’d never tell her that of course . . . High School is a sensitive time, no need to embarrass the poor girl.**
3.) Foreskin Jim
And last but not least is Foreskin Jim. He is a homosexual student-teacher. He is 22yrs. old and was born a man, took hormones to become a woman, and is now a man again. I generally try to hide from Foreskin Jim because of well . . . One day, I was minding my own business surfing the web in the library. I was bored out of my mind and probably thought to myself, “Man, I’m so bored I wish something would happen” and then my dumb self got what I asked for. Mr. Jim came and sat down near me. “I’m not bothering you, am I?” said Jim. “No, not really” I lied. He fiddled with some paper for awhile and then immediately introduced himself. We exchanged the usual Q&A. Name, Age, and why I’m in the PC and what that even means. He left me alone for a few moments longer and then said, “Um . . . please don’t be offended, um, will you be offended?” I looked at him perplexed. “Um well . . . that depends, but no probably no-” “Oh ok!” He interrupted. “Are you circumcised?” I was dumbfounded. “Well, um . . .” I looked around. “Uh-huh I said quietly” “Oh!” He responds, “Well, I used to be a prostitute in Puerto Galera! Boobs, I took hormones, and sexy sexy” “Oh?” I respond in a genuinely interested and mildly surprised way.*** “Well, I have seen many Americans and a lot of them were not circumcised. And, I don’t like that . . . it’s very messy and dirty and after we have the sex . . . I don’t know what to do.” … … … W . . . T . . . F!? “Oh, um . . . well, I think most Americans do have their babies circumcised. And um . . . cleaner and um . . . better overal-” He interrupts again. “Have you ever experienced sex with a man?” … … … W . . . T. . . F!? “Well, no . . .” I responded. “But then again I have never experienced sex at all” Genuinely shocked he responds (much louder than I would have liked) “That’s no good! You must experience sex! Not even with your girlfriend? You should go to Puerto Galera to experience sex!” !!! “You masturbate, right?” And suddenly I had a class to go to. “Oh no! I’m already late!” I exclaim. (This was only partially true)
I have a large and growing cast of characters, but I’ll post about them some other time. I’m tired. I’ve actually been a little sick lately.
– Brandon Holly –
*Technically speaking it is a highway, but the image that probably popped into your head is inaccurate.
**Though one day I did slip her a piece of gum as a “prize” for being so smart . . . she didn’t want it . . . Ugh . . .
***Actually, I was quite shocked. You don’t generally meet a transgendered prostitute turned teacher, but he was already so happy about the fact that I was non-judgmental of his sexual orientation that I couldn’t let on.