peace corps

Self Importance

Something was brought to my attention that I can’t COMPLETELY deny. I was sitting in the living room with my mother and my uncle. The topic of vegetarianism somehow came up. I am a vegetarian. I really am. I am just a horribly bad vegetarian. ESPECIALLY if I feel busy and/or I don’t want to inconvenience anyone. Anyway, my uncle asked if I was a vegetarian and to simplify the explanation I just said no.

My mom decided to expound on the subject.

“Yeah, he is a vegetarian when he feels like he needs to lose weight or something . . .”

All I could think was, “Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame . . .”

Talk about giving “love” a bad name, right?

Unfortunately, I realized that she was not completely incorrect. I do become more aware of my convictions when it starts to affect my health. (I am notoriously bad about using effect when I mean affect, but I think I finally figured it out. Effect is GENERALLY a noun and “affect” is GENERALLY a verb . . . way to go English Major) Nonetheless, I still have my convictions. If I was solely a vegetarian for aesthetic reasons I would feel shallow. Consequently, that is why I have no qualms about telling people that I suck at being a vegetarian. The point is, I felt deeply offended because my mother hit a soft spot. She hurt my pride, my self-importance. That part of me that feels better than everyone else because of the choices I make. When my mom made a mockery of that and pointed out the fact that my ideals may be less than noble. It was a shock and a wake up call.

Brandon, you are not better than anyone else. You AREN’T that important. And worst of all the things you take pride in are shallow and vain.

And guess what? I needed that. It’s the truth. That’s what hurts, but that’s what helps me. I now know that not only should I stick to my convictions in a more tangible and direct way, but also that I should remember to stay down to earth.

It was tough love, and she didn’t even realize that what she said might kind of hurt. Nonetheless, she was not giving love a bad name. She might have put it in the wrong clothes, but she was still giving me love. The love she always gives. The love only an embarrassing mother can give.

+ 1 Humility!

In other news. I leave the state (I live in Oklahoma) in 6 days. I am going crazy. TWO YEARS!? What was I thinking? It doesn’t help when random people come up to me and ask me, “Is your girlfriend going?” or “Ya’ gonna pop the question?” or “Please have grandbabies” (Thanks dad) or “Crap, can you guys (my girlfriend and I) handle that?” or “You know, most long distance relationships don’t work?”

The pressure can be a bit overwhelming.

Oh well, I am going to drown my sorrows with an old friend at a cigar lounge. I am just kidding, of course. 1.) I don’t have the money to buy drinks (2.) I am allergic to smoke and (3.) That’s just not how I roll.

Anyway, I love you all! Have a great weekend!

Much Love,

– Brandon Holly –

p.s. – Les Paul died. That man was insanely amazing. He invented multitrack recording for goodness sake!

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